“Help me to do it myself” (3-6 years) & “Help me to think for myself” (6-12 years)

These two phrases encapsulate the essence of Montessori education. Children don’t want us to do things FOR them, but to help them do (and think) BY THEMSELVES.

for children 3 to 6 years old:

Create and environment that fosters their autonomy and independence

1. Can your child hand their jacket themselves when they come home?  — If not, prepare a hook similar to your coat rack, but at their height. 
   

2. Can they get their own water when they are thirsty without asking for help? —  If not, buy a small glass pitcher they can use by themselves. Fill it with water and place it on the table near their seat. Fill the pitcher up halfway and place it on the table near their seat with a glass. Let them pour it themselves and be patient if they spill some. 
   

3. Can they choose their own clothes and get dressed alone? 

   — If not, let them dress themselves (even if it takes 20 minutes.) Take mental notes: if they struggle with certain types of shoes, for example, help them and remember to choose shoes they can put on and take off by themselves the next time you go shopping. 
   

4. Step back with they say, “I’ll do it!” and give time to try by themselves.

for children 6 to 12 years old:

Allow your child to solve problems autonomously.

• When your child comes to you with a problem, respond with guiding questions instead of giving them an immediate solution. 

  • “I don’t know where I put the book I was reading”. —“Where were you when you were reading it last time? What could you do to remember where you leave it?”

• Let them be responsible for their own time management and commitments. 

  • Let them organise their backpack, their clothes, their activities by themselves. If they forget something, it will be a learning opportunity - not a catastrophe. 

• Involve them in age-appropriate family decisions. Discuss possible choices and consequences. 

  • “On Sunday we can go to the museum or go hiking. What do you think we should do? What are the pros and cons? How should we prepare for the trip?”

• Support their interests without directing them. 

  • If they want to build something, do an experiment, write a store… provide the materials and space, but let THEM guide the process. 

• When faced with new information or complex situations, encourage critical thinking.

  • Ask, “What do you think? Why? How did you reach this conclusion?”

The life-long message you convey to your child is powerful:

“I believe in you. You are capable.”